Family
by allie marie
Summary: An old friend of Logan's comes for a visit....
1. Chapter 1

FAMILY (1/?)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters 'cept Logan's family... so ask me if you want to use them in a story. The rest of the characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee and the writers at FOX  
  
Please feel free to leave reviews. I would love to read your thoughts.  
******************************************************************************  
The first time I had met him, I knew that he was someone that I could trust, which probably explains why I followed him home and why he let me in. There was something about him, something that made me feel safe. He let me crash on the couch and for the first time since I could remember I actually slept. And every night after that I knocked on their door and he always let me in with no questions or expectations. Sol had called me "Logan's lost puppy" because of that night.   
  
From the moment of our escape, I had made a conscious choice to leave it all behind, I was going to be normal. We separated and I was found by authorities who placed me with a foster family. But that didn't last too long, the guy was a creep and kept coming into my room. So I bite him and they placed me with another family. But we didn't mesh, so I finally got placed with the Robertson's. They were a nice family and had three children of their own, they took me in because it was the Christian thing to do. But then the pulse hit and they decided that I was too expensive and were going to send me to someone else. Before they got the chance, I ran away. I lived on the streets for six months until I found Logan.   
  
He had been living with his best friend from college, Sol, and they were trying to act like they were starving martyrs, even though they weren't. Both of their families were loaded and the pulse didn't touch them at all. But they still liked to believe that they were suffering like everyone else. I used to laugh at them for that, they were both so desperate to know what suffering was like. Logan was still the spoiled little rich boy, but I had to give it up to him because a least he tried to help others and do good with the advantages that he had.  
  
His parents had died when he was young, maybe that was my connection with him, we were both orphans. I needed him and he knew it. He taught me everything that I know about being human, about caring. I first started knocking on the door every night and leaving before they got up every morning. Logan used to ask me what I did all day, but I never answered him. As the weeks past, he simply started leaving the door unlocked. I would come in and sometimes we would watch a film or he would read to me. The Return of the Native was my favorite, there was something so utterly tragic about her that I found strangely comforting. "See you in the morning," he would always say when he tucked me in at night and laid a kiss on my forehead. Months went by and I slowly became more at home in their apartment. I would't leave every morning and sometimes stayed there all day. I always remember the discussions that Logan and I had. Once he realized how limited my schooling had been he took it upon himself to teach me. He would give me these assignments during the day to work on. I studied all of the greats Socrates, Plato, Einstein, Locke, and Smith. Logan always was amazed with my ability to remember and understand concepts. My favorite subject was quantum physics. I know how random can you get, but the laws of thermodynamics are really quite interesting. I loved the chaos that they allowed, they never taught you about the chaos and randomness when I was younger, only logic and order -- that was what was needed to make better soldiers. But Logan didn't want me to become a soldier, he wanted me to become a better person.  
  
Sol wasn't around very much then, he found me slightly annoying, plus he was dating that blond. But Logan was there and each day I found myself becoming more and more attached to him. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I would have a nightmare and crawl into his bed. He would hold me until I wasn't scared anymore. I started sleeping with him for a while. I loved how secure I felt when his arms were around me. He would promise that no one would ever hurt me, that he wouldn't let them. He was my home.  
  
So I am on a plane flying up to Seattle, Sol is planning on coming a couple of days later. He thought that Logan and I could use some time alone together. He always thinks that Logan and I need time together. Sol and Logan are best friends, but you know how guys are, they will only get so close. Sol understands the relationship that Logan and I have, there are parts of us that we will never let anyone get close too. Sol respects that part of me, he thinks its healthy. He believes that my closeness with Logan is a substitution for the family that I never had (can you tell that Sol was a psych major in college?).   
  
So why am I with Sol you may ask and not Logan, you might ask? Actually, the answer is a lot simpler than it could be. I simply never felt anything like that about Logan, part of that probably was our own doing, our own separation. Right about the time when I was noticing the whole sexuality thing, Logan started dating Valerie and spent more time with her. I ended up spending time with Sol and things just happened. He was different from Logan and my feelings for him were definitely different, but there was still that same sense of security. I was happy for Logan when he and Val got married even though it was only six months after they first met. I would like to say that I never trusted her and I knew that she would break his heart. But I kept my mouth shut. He went with her and I went with Sol. I am proud to say that we have been together for almost six years and I couldn't think of anyone else I would rather wake up to every morning. But Logan will always be my family, which is why I am coming to see him now. When tragedy happens in our lives, we always feel a need to be with the other. When he and Val broke, I went to stay with him for two months. And every time I have a miscarriage and the unforgiving loneliness sets in, I feel this aching need to be near him. He always makes me feel better. This was my sixth miscarriage and it has never gotten any easier. You think that I would expect them by know, but I always have this hope that this time will be it, especially since Sol's family is so large. All one of his sisters'has to do is even think about a kid and next thing you know she is nine months along, screaming for the Virgin Mary. But for me it is always a waiting game, I pray that the seizures won't come, causing the horrible cramps to follow. You also think with all of my intelligence I would try to not get pregnant. And I do, I make a conscious choice not to, but then I go into heat and all the rules are thrown out. That is when the mistakes start to happen. This pregnancy was different though because I had been farther along than I had ever been. We were actually starting to think that maybe this would be the one. Logan, even, had the faith to send us a baby present. But the cramps started and I knew that this child wasn't meant to be. So I am going to see Logan.   
  
But this time is different because of another reason, Logan knows about Manticore, he knows about the seizures, but most importantly he knows Max. When I left Manticore, I had made a promise to not find any of them. But I am horrible at keeping promises. Five months after the escape, I found Jondy. I brought her home with me to live. But within two weeks the seizures worsened and my foster parents wanted to take her to a doctor. They never understood my refusal. I took care of Jondy, until the seizures became too much for her body to handle and she died. I still can remember the look on her face as she was dying. This was our destiny, we were destined to die this horrible death. I vowed that I would not find any of the others, so that I wouldn't have to witness to their death also. But now I am going to see Max.  
  
Logan never knew anything about Manticore until Max. It was only then that he started to put two and two together. One night Sol and he were talking about my seizures and how tryptophan seemed to calm me, that was the clue that Logan needed. Then I heard Sol say something about "Manticore"and he turned and gave me a look that let me know that Logan knew. So here I am going to see him, needing him like I have always needed him but this time things will be different because this time he knows who I am.  
  
But this miscarriage happened three weeks ago and I was doing fine. I actually thought that I was finally starting to break my clinging to Logan. But then Bling called me up a few nights ago and told me a little about the funk that Logan has been in lately. Apparently Max and he had a fight and he starting to feel sorrow for himself. Bling was worried that finally the walls were coming down and Logan was finally coming to terms with the accident. Which is so typical of Logan. If I had a problem, he always tell me that I need to face it head on and don't shy away from it. He never let me get away with letting my problems fester. But leave it Logan to delude himself this long. I thought he was handling the whole shooting a little too well. I should have expected this.  
  
So now I am going like I always do to comfort him and seek comfort. Max will be there though. God that sounds so weird to say her name out loud. I never thought that I would actually look forward to finding another of them. But from what Logan says she actually has adjusted fairly well. So no should I read between the lines for you, Loganese is kind of difficult. From what he says, she is gorgeous, stubborn, intelligent, independent andscared. Did I mention that he is also scared of her? Logan doesn't deal well with women who actually don't faint at the sight of him. Max is the type of girl who doesn't need anyone and that scares the shit out of Logan.  
  
The interesting thing about my discussions with Logan are the questions that he asks about Manticore. The first thing he wanted to know was if everything was normal with us. Anyone care to speculate where is head was on that one. So I decided to have fun with him and actually tell him about the "heat" thing that we go through four times a year. He seemed very interested. He also asked about the relationships within our groups. I told him that Zach was the leader by default, although I was a close second. We had this weird parental thing going on with the group. Everyone followed Zach and listened to him, except me of course. But when they needed to feel any type of human emotion they came to me. I was the one who held them when they cried, told them everything was going to be all right. Max didn't cry very much. She was always trying to act tough and act like nothing ever got to her. We were all trying to act like that. But I could always tell in her eyes that there was a depth to her and an innocence. She actually had morals that were firmly in place before anyone ever set eyes on her. She always knew right and wrong. Not all of us knew that. I'd like to think that I did, but sometimes I wonder. Zach I know didn't; he was on a mission and that mission was to become the best soldier. I never trusted Zach and never will. Perhaps that was why I so quickly disobeyed his orders.   
  
The seat belt light flashes and the pilot tells us to prepare for landing. "Welcome to Seattle."  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**FAMILY (1/?)  
**

  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters 'cept Logan's family... so ask me if you want to use them in a story. The rest of the characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee and the writers at FOX  
  
Please feel free to leave reviews. I would love to read your thoughts.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
Anna. Over here! I hear Bling yell as I step out of the airport. He is standing next to Logan's car waiving his arms.   
Getting to Seattle from L.A. just becomes more and more of a bitch each time I do it.  
How long did it take you?  
Only about ten hours, which isn't bad. I mean especially since I had to get through customs with these bags. I say as I get into the passenger side of the car. Bling loads my bags into the hatch and gets into the driver's seat.  
Why was customs so hard?  
Because I brought some tamales and some fresh tomatoes, peppers and corn from Mama's garden. We also have some grapes, peaches, kiwis and pineapple. Not to mention the food that she cooked for Logan. Then Sol insisted that I bring Logan a couple pounds of coffee. Not to mention the pharmaceutical needs that I stashed away for his various good deeds and some new paperwork I have for him.  
How did you get past customs?   
I acted ditzy, showed some cleavage and slipped them each a $1000 for doing such a good job. Bling laughed at me. So how is he?  
Better than he was before. But the resentment is still there. He isn't working as hard as he had been. The positive thing is that he is still working, that we owe to Max.  
Ah, Max. And what is she really like?  
Unbelievable. She is this tough, young woman who at times acts like a spoiled rotten child and at other times acts like a forty year old woman. It's difficult to put your finger on her, but there is something beneath the surface, something different.  
So that's what I heard! But what is the scoop with her and Logan?  
Oh you know, he is in love with her and she with him, but they both are too stubborn to admit it.  
The same old story. I winked at Bling. We drove the rest of the way back in silence. When we got to the apartment, I could hear Logan yelling. He was in his office with Max and they were having an intense argument.   
Bling leans over and whispers, They have been arguing like this for days.  
Why don't we not interrupt them and let them work out their energy. I smiled.   
Let's cook.  
Why don't we. So Bling I headed into the kitchen and started cooking some of the food that I had brought with me. Mama had made some flat bread and other such goodies. Yes, I can cook, but Sol's mother cooks better. Plus Logan likes her food and she loves Logan. Everytime I go to see him, she loads me down with food. It's like she forgets all about the regulations or customs that I have to curt around, all she thinks is that her Logan needs to be fattened up more.   
The argument grows as we continue cooking. Somebody else is in there with them, a man. My curiosity gets the better of me and I decide that it is time for me to make an entrance. So I put a disk of mine in his stereo and turn it up. Country, Logan will know that it is me. I slowly start playing the music loader, I can hear the silence grow in the other room. The other guy starts yelling over the music. Then silence again. The music is blasting and Bling is giving me the weirdest look. I start counting down on my fingers, five, four, three, two,....  
Logan yells. I wait a moment before coming in. Jaime O'Neil's There is no Arizona early 2001, I am the only one who listens to her. One more time Logan, I whisper, then I hear my calling.   
Logan bellows one more time and I start to sliver into his office.  
You called I wink as I seductively appear in the doorway. Logan gets the dorkiest grin over his office. I walk towards him mouthing the words. I lean over his chair, trapping him. A small kiss on the lips. My smile gets bigger.  
I sit on his lap and proceed to hug him. We bury each other's head in the other's shoulder. I feel a small kiss on my neck and then his warm breath.   
Why are you here? He asks.  
Nice to see you to Mr. Cale. I answer sarcastically.  
That's not what I mean. He is so cute when he thinks he's in trouble.  
You look good.  
Evading the question He hates when I do that and I do it a lot.  
Ever heard of a razor though. He laughs.  
Is everything okay? Suddenly the lightness ends and he is serious as he realizes why I probably came.  
I am now. I hug him again.   
He hugs me tighter. Missed you he whispers. I pull back and look at him. we do this weird flirting thing for a while longer. Then I remember the other people in the room. I give him a long look and he smiles back., he knows exactly what I am about to do.  
I am glad that the bullet didn't damage everything down below. I smile wickedly and he blushes and then gives me his attempt at his evil eye. I hear an from Max. I continue looking at Logan and mouth her name. And the damn man only smiles. I turn around and slouch in Logan's lap, his arms encircle me.  
And this is Max. I whisper back to Logan. She is giving me the evilest look. Anna, nice to meet you. I have heard things about you.  
Good, I hope. Her mood lightens a little.  
Mostly, but everyone once in a while they aren't. You know our Logan, moody as ever. I smile at her and suddenly she understands our whole little game. At least, I think she does. Logan tries to help the situation by tickling me. Which doesn't help me. But it does make me remember the other person in the room. I don't even have to think about who it is. I can tell the scowl a mile away.   
And you must be the famous Zack. I smile but he doesn't smile back. Yes that is the same old Zach that I remember.  
And you are?  
Anna. Anna Vargas, pleasure to meet you.  
What have you heard about me? This guy is really annoying, I forgot about that. He sternly looks at Logan, who has now started holding on to my hips. He can tell that I want to pounce already. God, he's good.   
Just that your an old friend of Max's, your like a brother to her. Score one for Anna. Nothing bad though. Why what should I have heard? He eyes me, trying to scare me, but I am not that big of a pushover.  
So my dear, I lean back on Logan forcing his head to rest on my shoulder. What were you arguing about?  
How long were you here for?  
About an hour or so. Bling and I tried to ignore it for as long as we could.  
And what were you doing for that hour?  
Evading the question. I throw back.  
And the question will continue to be evaded. He sweetly replies. I roll my eyes.  
No matter, I'll just get it out of you later.  
No you won't. I turn around and eye him.  
Mr. Cale, I can get whatever I want out of you and you know it. I smile and he smiles back.  
So Max, you know by now how horrible our friend here is at lying right and exactly how to get him to fess up everything, right?  
So what am i smelling? Logan interrupts.  
Nice diversion there. So what are you smelling? Good question. Let me think... there is fry bread, some tamales, enchiladas and Mama's famous chicken mole. Are you hungry?  
Is that a question or a statement?   
For you, it's a statement. But for them it's a question.  
Oh, we really should be going. Max says as she tries to figure out some reason to wiggle out. I think I make her nervous or maybe it's Logan who keeps kissing my shoulder.  
Stop that I swat Logan away. I'm a happily married woman. And as for you two, I was only putting it as a question to be polite, but you really don't have a choice in the matter. Haven't you learned by now that you can't leave Logan Cale's place on an empty stomach. I smile and Max smiles back. Besides there are so many questions I have for you and I am positive that you have thousands of questions for me. Shall we? I get up off of Logan's lap and extend my arm for Max. We both start to walk into the kitchen. I hear Logan mumbling something to Zack about not being rude and then I hear them follow. This definitely should be an interesting meal.


	3. Chapter 3

**FAMILY (3/?)  
**

  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters 'cept Logan's family... so ask me if you want to use them in a story. The rest of the characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee and the writers at FOX  
  
Please feel free to leave reviews. I would love to read your thoughts.  
  
******************************************************************  
"So that went well, don't you think?" I asked as we cleaned up the dishes. I would have to define it as problem the most awkward meal that I had ever had. Zach was being Zach, of course, and hardly spoke only grunted to answer questions (I did tell you how much he annoyed me, right?). Poor Max was so confused, she hardly knew what to feel. I could tell there were moments when she was incredibly jealous and then there were moments when she wasn't and both were confusing the hell out of her. And Bling, Bling was enjoying the show. Okay and I have to admit that Logan and I were milking it a bit. I think the feeding each other went a bit too far (kidding!). Both Zack and Max left after we were finished, giving us some lame excuse. I don't think tinkering with her bike qualifies as an emergency, do you? Bling offered to help us clean up, but we told that we could handle it and he should go have some fun.  
"You like to watch her squirm, don't you?" I knew exactly what was going through his mind during dinner and I was definitely going to call him on it.   
Logan looked up at me with his puppy dog eyes, "I don't know what you are talking about?"  
"Yes, you do know what I am talking about because I could hardly get your hands off of me tonight and although I think I am a goddess, it was not because of me that your hands were doing the wandering. Which is so not cool. The last thing I need is some Manticore female on my butt because she thinks that I stole her guy."   
"You think that I was doing that to make Max jealous?"  
"Weren't you?"  
"Can't a guy who hasn't seen his favorite girl in a while be touchy feely without people questioning him?" I had no idea what to say after that, what do you say? "Besides," Logan continued with a smirk, "it's fun to watch her squirm."  
"I knew it!" I screamed as I flicked some water at him. Thus began our short but fun water fight.   
When we were done both of us were soaked. "Well that was fun. I am going to go dry off and you, Mr. Cale, should probably do the same."  
  
I slipped into one of my favorite pajamas and went into the living room where I found Logan sitting on the couch. He too had changed into more appropriate deep discussion wear.   
"So how are you?"  
"Fine. You never did answer my question, why did you come?" He gave me his I want to have a serious talk with you look. I sit down on the opposite end of the couch. "How are you really Anna?"  
"I'm actually fine. You think that I would be used to it by now. I was really doing fine."  
  
About three weeks ago...  
"Anna, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come? Or i could have come there?" Logan is so cute when he gets angry at me for not telling him something. One time when I got caught doing a little recon for Mr. Eyes only and had a little injury escaping, Logan was pissed when he found out. Angry more because Sol told him two days later. It was only a scratch nothing that a little ointment can't handle. But these guys are so protective over you me, you would swear that I was made out of porcelin. So I shouldn't have been surprised with Logan's reaction. He hates feeling helpless. He hates knowing that there are things that are going to happen in my life that he can't stop. He hates it when he thinks that I am vulnerable, his big brother shield goes up two fold.  
"I was trying to detach a little. Besides sometimes I think Sol gets a little jealous, although he would never say it of course. I mean I lose his child and who do I go running to. So ... Plus I hate when I get all emotional, you know that."  
"So why did you come?"  
"Truth?"  
"Truth"  
"Bling called and said that you were getting down. He's really worried about you."  
I can't believe he called you. Logan actually sounded mad.  
He was looking out for you and wanted to get some advice. I thought that maybe I should come and spend some quality time with my Logan. Besides as soon as he started talking about you, I got that sinking feeling in my stomach and all I wanted was a good bear hug from you telling me that everything was going to be okay.  
On that cue, Logan reached over and hugged me. Everything is going to be okay. He whispered. I am fine. It's you I worry about.  
"No, your not and you know it! You have got to stop acting like this was some inconsequential thing that happened, like someone stole your candy bar. You were shot by somebody and now you can't walk. That is big! That is something that you should be angry about. My god, Logan, you actually had Max work to keep Bruno alive!"  
He told you about that.  
Yes and he told me about how you keep watching the tape over and over.   
"We needed Bruno to bring down a bigger guy."  
"And you can live with that! Not only did he cause you to lose your legs but he also sold Max out. And yet for the good of the cause you can handle that. Do you always have to be so damn noble?"  
"What am I supposed to do?"  
"Get angry!"  
"At who, Anna. Who am I supposed to be mad at?" Logan's voice was raised.  
"I don't know. Be angry at Bruno,..."  
"Be angry at Edgar Sonrisa, be angry at Lauren or Sophie .... for putting me in the position, be angry at Max for not saving my ass, be angry at you for not being there, be angry at the world, be angry at God!!! Tell me who I am supposed to be angry at!" Logan was now yelling.  
"I thought you didn't believe in God." I quietly reminded him.  
"I don't." He stated and then laughed a little. "That felt good."  
"Good, you should do it more often. Yelling is an incredibly healthy thing. I know there are lots of things that you keep in those tight little crevices of your mind, but sometimes you have to let go."  
"It just seems so useless."  
"I know when there are millions of people out there who have bigger problems than you, blah, blah, blah... But may I remind your life has not been all roses either. You have the right to be a little pissed at the world."  
"How about you? Are you angry?"  
"Angry that I keep miscarrying. Yes. Angry that I even want a child in the first place, when my very being exists for the exact opposite purpose. Yes. Angry that Manticore couldn't make me right and that I get the shakes. Yes. Angry that they made me at all. Yes. Angry that there are people out there who would sell me to the highest bidder. Yes. Angry that I am being hunted. Yes, I am. But every once in a while I let it out and that's what you need to do. Can I tell you what I most angry about?"  
"What?"  
"That Zach is still the same prick that I remembered." We both started laughing.  
Do you think that they recognized you?  
I think Max did, but she brushed it off. A lot has happened since we saw each other last. I don't think we could identify any of us, if it wasn't obvious. I mean look at Zach he has been reprogrammed and deprogrammed to be a walking robot.  
"Tell me about him."  
Not much to tell that I haven't already. It makes sense that they would try to reprogram him. He would have been the easiest. You see, we have all been trained by the same people but we all had different personalities. And Zach, Zach was the kind of guy who would follow the orders and do whatever he could to be the best. He needed to have Manticore as a higher purpose. Either as something to run to or away from. When we were little Zach and I were the closest, mostly because of our ages. He was the leader, but I was always second in command. And I don't mean to brag but I was better. Every time there was any type of competition I would always beat him. But he would never recognize that. I am sure he still doesn't. What Zach thinks is, there is no questioning."  
"Why won't you let me tell Max about you?"  
"Logan we have already talked about this. I don't want to be found.  
"She didn't recognize you because she trusts me. She trusts that I would have told her, but I can't because I promised you that I wouldn't."  
"Logan, she will never find out. It is better for all of us that we stay a part. Don't ask me to explain it, just trust me on this one."  
"Fine. But can I state for the record that I don't agree."  
"Agreed. So can I see the tapes?"  
  
I sit in silence as I watch the tape of the shooting. I watch as Logan holds on to that little girl for dear life. How the girl had to be dragged away from his arms? I then turn to look at him.  
"At least I was right about you."  
"What does that mean? That I'm obsessive" Logan turns to look at me. Although instead of turning the stopping the tape, he pauses it. So there is this horrifying close-up of his face.  
"Well there's that and that you are good person. I pause for a moment, trying to formulate my thoughts into coherent words. Look people always ask themselves what they would do in the heat of the moment. You know if you saw an accident would you drive by or stop to help. Here you are putting your life at risk for this little girl and even when you are hurt your instincts are to hold on to her." Logan looked back at the camera. "Do you know why I followed you home that night?"  
"Because I had free food?"  
"That and ..."  
"Free bed?"  
"That and ..."  
"You had a hopeless crush on me?"  
"Okay, that's going a bit far. No seriously, you were the first person that I had met who didn't want anything from me. You are a good person. No matter how much you might question where your motives come from or how much of your work stems from guilt, you can not deny the simple fact that you are good. And that is something that people don't acquire it was there when you were born. "  
Logan smiled.   
Your welcome. So what do you say that we go get in bed?   
Sounds good. Are you going to stay with me or the guest room?  
You, please. I follow Logan as he wheels himself into his bedroom. Now, I know what you are thinking, but this is our weird ritual and no amount of age is going to change it. I now, thanks to Logan, can not sleep in a bed alone. Not that I need to sleep very much, but when I do now I need human contact or else I will just lie there. Also when I am in bed with him, I always feel the security that I felt when I was a little girl. I cherish that feeling.  
So, what is going on with you and Max?  
  
I heard you took her to the wedding.   
Yeah and that she copped out on me later to be with Zach.  
Oh, so she is doing the running scared thing, cute.  
That isn't what I'm saying.... Logan knew that he had just made a slip.  
No what you are saying is that there is something going on between the two of you, but she is tentative. The second you guys get too close, she freaks and bolts to the door.  
Something like that...  
This doesn't sound like the Logan Cale, I know and love. The guy who could make any girls knees go weak just by looking at them.  
Max isn't any girl.  
No, but you also aren't the same Logan Cale.   
What do you mean?  
Your not, your different. You are not as confident as you used to be, not as cocky. I guess that could be seen as a good thing. But don't blame everything on Max. Yes, we genetically engineered killing machines are a bit squeamish in the romance division. But do not blame this all on her. If you wanted something to happen, it would, I assure you of that.  
  
No, the root of the problem lies with you. Do you think that the chair makes you any less attractive?  
Can we not go there?   
No, I want to go there. Let me tell you something, Max is not hanging around because she likes your food, trust me.   
But she's not...  
It's not guilt. She likes you, I would even go as far as to say she loves you but she is scared and you know that. I could tell it the moment I saw her look at you. Max does not have to spend so much time with you. And she could have any guy she wanted, but she choses to spend her time with you and that should tell you something.  
But I can't be what she wants...  
You can get it up and nothing happened to your arms or mouth. You and I both know that there is more in a relationship than a guys legs.  
But why would she want some half man when she could have a genetically engineered one.  
Zach.... I don't think so. He may want her like that, but she has absolutely no idea or any intention of doing that. It would be like me and you, which would never happen.  
  
No, buts you need to get off of this woe is me trip' because it ain't healthy. And before you know it, you may just loose the best thing that ever happened to you.  
After a few moments of Logan contemplating, he looked up at me. When did you get so good at this relationship stuff?  
I had a good teacher, who taught me that sometimes the things we want and need most are right in front of our eyes.  
Must have been a smart man.   
He is. Now can we get some sleep.   
Yes ma'am  
I rested my head on his chest and fell asleep. I woke up some time in the morning and heard somebody in the apartment. I assumed that it must be Bling, so I didn't get up. I heard the door open and looked up groggily. It took a few seconds to register who was standing in Logan's doorway with a shocked look on her face. Wonderful' I thought. Max walked quickly out of the doorway and out of the apartment before I had time to stop her. Well I guess I had to get up sometime. 


	4. Chapter 4

**FAMILY (4.1/?)  
**

  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters 'cept Logan's family... so ask me if you want to use them in a story. The rest of the characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee and the writers at FOX  
  
Please feel free to leave reviews. I would love to read your thoughts.  
  
********************************************************  
  
I got up only seconds after Max had left the doorway and ran after her. But by the time I got to the door, the elevator doors had already closed. Shit' why does this always happen? Val once walked in on us and that did not go well. I only hope that Max will be a little cooler than Val was. I stand at the elevator for a moment contemplating whether I should run after her or not, when the doors open.  
  
Going somewhere? Bling asks as I block his way.  
  
Uhh, What?  
  
You are standing in front of the elevator in your pajamas. So are you going somewhere?  
  
I realized how stupid I looked and how stupid I would have looked running after Max. I can deal with her later.  
  
This wouldn't have to do with Max's incredibly quick exit from the building, would it?   
  
Why, did she say anything?   
  
Let's just say, she didn't look to happy.  
  
Lovely. Now I am going to have smooth things over with her. As if she didn't not like me enough before due to Logan's little performance at dinner.  
  
I'm not even going to ask. I finally let Bling get off the elevator and follow him into the apartment.  
  
Do me favor and don't tell Logan.  
  
  
  
Thanks. So do you want some coffee?  
  
Love some. So how did last night go?  
  
Good. Logan and I had a good talk. With that note Logan comes wheeling in. He always has the best timing.  
  
You got up quickly this morning.  
  
Sorry habit, did I wake you?  
  
Not really. But the elbow jab kind of hurt.  
  
I jabbed you. I'm sorry. Can I make up for it by making you breakfast?  
  
I think that may help.  
  
Good, what would you like sir?  
  
Pancakes, please.  
  
You want pancakes.  
  
Yeah and bacon and coffee and strawberries.  
  
You went through my stuff.  
  
I plead the fifth.  
  
Pancakes, bacon, coffee and strawberries it is. Why don't you go take a shower and everything will be prepared when you are done by Chef Vargas.  
  
Fine by me. Logan was acting like a kid today.  
  
Bling nudged and whispered in my ear, See, I knew that you coming was a good idea.  
  
You think this is all my effect.  
  
Definitely. I have a feeling that you always have this effect on him.  
  
What do you mean?  
  
Well, look at his circle. It has got to be tough having all this money and not knowing who is actually here for you or who is here for your money. You are probably one of the only people in his life that doesn't need or want anything from him.  
  
You think he is still bothered by that.  
  
Ever since the accident, he has been isolating himself from the world. Becoming only Eyes Only' and nothing else.  
  
What do you mean?  
  
Nobody comes here that doesn't have to do with Eyes only.' In fact, nobody comes here but me and Max.  
  
No one else.  
  
  
  
And his only contact with people outside of the apartment are his operatives and his doctors.   
  
So he's isolating himself from the outside world.  
  
Better not to get hurt.   
  
Better to make yourself a martyr.  
  
You think that's what he wants to be?  
  
He always wanted to be one, Bling. From the first moment, I met him he always thought that he was predestined to be this martyr. It's like this horrendous sense of self torture.  
  
Than you have the accident.  
  
Than that and now he feels useless...  
  
The only thing left to use is his money.  
  
And money my dear can buy you everything you need or desire but it can't buy your soul.  
  
So you are good for him, because I am assuming you're not here for his money. Bling laughed as he looked at some of my bags that were still at the front door.  
  
No, I have no need for money. But I do need Logan, he's the only family I got and I'd like to think that he needs me.  
  
Needs me for what? Logan interrupted as wheeled into the kitchen. Luckily, I had just finished making his pancakes and bacon and Bling had cut the strawberries.  
  
Would you like whip cream with your pancakes?  
  
No thank you. Logan smiles. What were you two talking about?  
  
I set the plates down and Bling brings the coffee over.  
  
Me. Why would you be talking about me?  
  
Don't you love the modest Logan, Bling. I laugh. Don't you know my dear, I always talk about you.  
  
That's nice.  
  
Yes, that is nice. And let me tell you Sol finds it quite a turn on.  
  
I'll bet he does.  
  
So I heard about this fancy, schamzy standing thing you can do. And frankly, I'm a bit jealous because I haven't seen this little trick of yours. So... I was thinking that I could maybe help you out with your therapy this morning and then we could do some shopping. Then tonight we could have a night out on the town.  
  
I can't I need to get some work done. Realizing my disappointment, Logan tries to explain himself. Sorry, Anna I wasn't planning on you coming.  
  
That's okay, I know the world can only wait so long for you to save it.  
  
  
  
Okay then a compromise. Therapy and shopping with me, but then tonight you can get your work done and I will go out.  
  
Sounds good.   
  
------------------------------------------------------------  
  
So I spent the rest of the day with Logan. His therapy went well. His leg muscles were getting stronger. He was still not able to get the messages to his muscles to have them move properly and I could tell that it was bothering the hell out of him. It was like half the battle had been won, he could stand but he still couldn't walk. Pieces of the puzzle were still missing. After his session, we went out and walked through the city. Not much had changed since the last time I had been here. But I always liked to imagine what Seattle had looked like pre-pulse. Now it was like something out of a comic book or a western, the lawless had taken over. But still, even with all the devastation and turmoil people still lived here and those lives were filled with hope and promise that one day things would be better. There are a lot of things that can be said about the frailty and failure of the human species, but their ability to hope when there is nothing left to hope for is what makes them strong. Their soul can survive through the toughest hardships. Funny, when ever I talk about humans in a deep sense I always never include myself in the definition. I wonder if Max does that?   
  
After dinner, Logan helped me clean the dishes. I had already told him numerous times that I was going out tonight, but still he acted clueless.  
  
So what should we do tonight? Logan asked as he dried the final plate.  
  
I don't know what your doing, but I'm going out. Your welcome to join me. I offered.  
  
Thanks, but I need to get some work done. Before the accident, Logan would have jumped at the chance to get out of the apartment, especially with me. But now, he preferred to stay in. I guess it was just easier that way. But part of me knew that it was less painful for him to hide out here.   
  
You're loss. I sarcastically yelled out as I ran into the guest room to put the finishing touches on my look. Black mascara, silver eye shadow and violet lipstick. Then I put on my boots and grabbed my leather jacket. The one thing that you can definitely say about me is that when I glam it up, I glam it up.  
  
So where are you going tonight? Logan yelled from his office.  
  
I thought that I would pay a visit to this bar that I heard of. I yelled back as I walked in.  
  
Logan yelled in my ear, before he realized that I was standing over him.  
  
What are you my father? It's called The Crash,' have you heard of it?  
  
You're not going to visit Max, are you?  
  
Don't worry. I just thought that maybe the girl and I should talk.  
  
Why does it sound like a bad idea?  
  
Because you, my dear, are a pessimist. Besides I did invite you and if you honestly think that it is a bad idea than maybe you should come and supervise the visit.  
  
Logan whined.  
  
Whining isn't going to get you anywhere. You know me once I get an idea in my head, it takes a mule and four other Red guys to pull it out of me.   
  
See that's another reason why you shouldn't go.  
  
I'll be sure to tell Max about your concern.  
  
  
  
I will be fine, dad. I am a big girl and I can take care of myself. I just really feel the need to talk to Max. I want her to like me, okay. I don't want this to be another repeat of the Val thing.  
  
Val liked you.  
  
No, she didn't. I laughed. Val tolerated me to appease you.  
  
That's not true.  
  
Whatever. Look Logan if you want to come than come. But I should really get going because I heard that there was a stunt contest there and I don't want to miss it.  
  
Fine. Do whatever you want. Do you have your phone?  
  
Yes, dad.   
  
Your gun.  
  
Yes, dad. I rolled my eyes. This was the one thing that Sol always insisted that I carry with me and Logan approved. I told you that think I am a porcelain doll, right?  
  
Take my car.  
  
Fine. I won't be out too late. I waved as I left. You can always change your mind. I called as I closed the door. Sometimes he really was stubborn.  
  
***************************************************************  
  
More to come fairly soon. Sorry this has taken me so long....


	5. Chapter 5

**FAMILY (4.2/?)  
**

  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters 'cept Logan's family... so ask me if you want to use them in a story. The rest of the characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee and the writers at FOX  
  
Please feel free to leave reviews. I would love to read your thoughts.  
  
Just wanted to warn you all that I write horrible dialogue for Cindy, so please excuse it. Thanks.  
  
********************************************************  
By the time I got to the Crash bar, it was already fairly late. As I entered, I looked for Max. Bling had told me that she usually hangs here. I found her sitting in the corner with a bunch of what looked like friends. There were no signs of Zack which I was glad of. I decided to first make a trip to the bar. I picked up two beers and headed to Max's table. Max's back was to me so she didn't see me coming but the two other girls did.   
  
How about a peace offering? I asked as Max turned around. She tried to act nonchalant but I could tell she was kind of shocked that I was there.   
  
For what? She said coldly.  
  
For me not catching up with you this morning.   
  
I have no idea what you're talking about.  
  
Yes, you do. Here's a beer.  
  
I already have one.  
  
Okay, would anyone else here like a beer.  
  
Over here. One of the girl's chimed in. The name's Original Cindy and you are?  
  
Anna Vargas.  
  
Not like the Vargas? One of the guy's asked.  
  
And you are?   
  
  
  
Nice name, Sketchy. And if you mean Peter Vargas. Yes, that's my husband's family.  
  
Wait the Vargas family, that headed the La Brea uprising. The blond girl added.  
  
  
  
Aren't you all gangsters? Sketchy politely questioned.  
  
Not really. That's just the media would have you think. In reality, the family just tries to do what's right by the people and protect them from the government.   
  
Wait, wait, wait. Ain't the Vargas family from LA? Cindy finally caught up.  
  
  
  
So why are you here, apologizing to our boo?  
  
I'm visiting a friend and Max walked on in on something that was entirely innocent but it didn't look that way.  
  
What did she walk in on?  
  
I was in the same bed as our mutual friend.  
  
Your a friend of wheels?  
  
I waiting for her to nod her head.   
  
And you were in his bed, with him. Kendra added, clearing it up for the entire table. The guys had been hopelessly lost this whole time.  
  
That's correct. And that is why I am apologizing. Max was not amused by her friend's interest.  
  
No wonder you've been a bad mood today. Cindy said as she looked directly at Max. I think that I like this girl. Here sit. By the way this is Kendra and that's Herbal.  
  
I sat in between Kendra and Sketchy. Max was not happy. And as I was saying it all was entirely innocent. Logan and I were talking late and we both just fell asleep.  
  
Max replied.  
  
No. I just wanted to clear it up with you because I have a habit of getting Logan in trouble because of that. Val once walked in on us, and let's just that she was not too understanding. And every time....   
  
Who's Val? Cindy asked.  
  
His wife.   
  
Wait, Logan has a wife? Kendra broke in.  
  
Max answered. I smiled at her. So Val walked in on you too.  
  
Yeah and I remember the tongue lashing Logan got for it. I was sixteen and I had absolutely no idea what was wrong. After that Val always hated me, although Logan to this day denies it.  
  
So wait, when did you and Logan meet? Now I had gotten Max curious, good.  
  
When I was thirteen.  
  
Now you are going to have to explain. Cindy chimed in. It turns out that the whole table was interested in my relationship with Logan.  
  
I was thirteen and had been kicked from one foster home to the next. I had been on my own for about six or seven months barely surviving by pick pocketing. I saw this guy go into a sandwich store and he didn't match up, you know. His clothes looked grungy and all but he was clean shaven and his shoes were new. So I knew that he was little rich boy trying to act poor. So I followed him and stood behind him in line and started to go for the wallet. When he puts his hand on his back pocket and turns around and smiles. Now I don't now how well you all know Logan, but I am sure Max knows that Logan has this one smile he uses when he knows he's caught you and it makes your spine tingle. Anyway, I am sure that I am in for it, but instead he asks if I would like some coffee. He proceeds to treat me to not only coffee but a full meal, including desert. He then gets up and introduces himself, pays and says that he had lovely lunch and appreciated my company. Now mind you, I had just tried to rip this guy off and he was exchanging pleasantries. So I follow because he had me totally baffled. I mean what guy pays for a girl's lunch and then wants nothing in return. I turn to Cindy who laughs and mumbles something.   
  
So I followed him the whole day, until he got to his apartment. I wait fifteen minutes and then knock on the door. Logan answers it with that same smile. He knew that I had been following him. He opens the door and invites me in. He asks if I want to crash here tonight. And I knew that something was up, he was going to turn out to be some kinky guy who gets off on thirteen year olds. So I am all about to bolt when he comes out from his bedroom with a couple pillows and some blankets. He then proceeds to make me a bed on the couch. He tells me to make myself at home and so I did. And I crashed at his place for about five years.  
  
So that's how you know Logan? Max asked.  
  
Yeah, and he's the only person besides Sol that I have ever trusted or would trust. He's all good, you know that.  
  
So wait, why do you sleep with him? Kendra asked.  
  
After a couple of weeks there, I started having these really violent nightmares and Logan would come and wake me up. Next thing I know I am sleeping in his bed every night and the nightmares stop coming. I didn't have a lot of physical contact when I was little and Sol thinks that I making up for it. I can't sleep anymore unless somebody is with me and I can concentrate on their body and not mine.  
  
Tell me about Val.   
  
See, I told you that there was some benefits of having me here. I smiled. Val. He met her when I was sixteen and they dated for like two months before getting engaged and they were married three months later.   
  
How long?  
  
Two years. Their breakup was not pretty, as I am sure you know.  
  
Kind of.  
  
Val was a leach. She saw him as an opportunity. Although you are hearing it from my perspective, she stole my boy and I was not about to like her. But there was something about her that was just wrong. But boy was in total googly eye love with her and I am the last one who would ever deny him happiness. He deserves it more than anyone else in the world. So when they got married I smiled and he moved out, leaving Sol and me. I saw him less and less. Val really didn't like me. She started using a lot and would come home at all hours of the night. She managed to hide it pretty well from him. But then she got pregnant and lost the baby due to her habit. Can you imaging finding out that your baby was dead and it was due to your wife's drug habit all in one night? It shattered him. He really loved her and he was so excited about the baby. He stayed with her for another couple of months, but she just got worse and finally somebody had to do something. So Sol and I convinced Logan to file for divorce. And that like everything else in their relationship was not pretty. I didn't think a person could be that greedy.  
  
No wonder, he was so weird when she was around.  
  
Yeah, I heard from Bling about it.  
  
You talk to Bling a lot?  
  
Wait whose Bling? Herbal asked.  
  
Logan's trainer and a friend. And yeah, I do. I am actually the one who hired him. He was a friend, of a friend, sort of. Anyway we talk about twice a week. He tells me everything that Logan leaves out.  
  
You mean like everything.  
  
Yes, _everything_. Emphasizing the word and MAx understood.  
  
He's obsessive, right.  
  
The one thing Logan Cale is, is definitely obsessive.  
  
You and I should talk some time in private.   
  
It's a date, but don't tell Logan he was already worried enough at me coming here tonight. My phone rang. (Did I mention Logan's timing? I did right?) Hey... No I'm here... Yes she's here... A little bit of one, but I could take her... No... Yes... Maybe... I hold my hand over the phone and whisper to Max. you got his page right? She nodded. Yep, she got it... Well I hate to tell you Logan, but I think your girl here has a life... I don't know... No... Yes... Maybe... No!... Later... Okay... Goodnight... No, she didn't ask about you. In fact this is the first that your name has come up... Yes. .. Hey you know what maybe I should bring Max home... okay... fine... no trouble from me... Goodnight dad. I rolled my eyes the entire conversation. See you really have no reason to worry. Logan takes on the father role in my life. Max smiles at me.  
  
So wait I have a question for you, how much money does he have? Cindy asked.  
  
  
  
How much?  
  
Do you want the exact digits? I smile. He has more than he needs or wants.  
  
So how did he get so rich?   
  
  
His parents.  
  
Cindy continued.  
  
Do you give up?  
  
  
  
His mother's family owned a huge publishing firm and when she married his dad, he took over. Logan's dad turned it into a major media empire. Like the Ted Turner or Murdoch of the twentieth century. All of the money was saved during the pulse because ironically Logan's dad hated computers and didn't trust them. So all of their money was kept liquid, only a little bit was in the stocks. So the amount that was lost was miniscule compared to the actual physical amount that was in tact.  
  
Tell me about them, Max asked.  
  
His family?  
  
  
  
Let see, what do you probably not know? He had a little sister. Hannah, she was a little older than me and according to Logan she adored him and the feeling was mutual. Logan went away to college in the East and the family stayed out here. Logan's parents were perfect. They never thought of their money always gave to others. Logan's dad was a bit obsessive, see the connection, with the business but that's to be expected. His mom was beautiful, you should ask to see a picture, she looks like him. Anyway, she was amazing. Now all of this stuff is hearsay. But I can imagine that if they raised Logan, they probably were fairly terrific. Their marriage was perfect, they never fought and adored each other. Anyway, Logan's dad was an adventurer. He loved to do crazy stuff like bungee jump or scale mountains. One summer, they all went to Australia to go swim with the sharks. That was one of his dad's most eccentric traits. He had been planning to make an expedition to Antarctica after Logan graduated. Anyway in the meantime for his current thrill, he had been learning how to fly planes. And for Logan's graduation, his dad was going to fly the whole family there and back himself. On the way back, something went wrong and the plane crashed. Luckily, they had plotted their course, so when the towers lost them they had a pretty good idea about where they were. The rescuers got there hours later and the only own who was still alive was Logan. His legs and ribs were broken, so he couldn't move. He had been conscious during the crash, but sometime later lost consciousness. He told me that the last thing he remembers was his sister crying with blood coming down her face. He tried to calm her down, but he couldn't do anything. Nobody knows what happened still to cause the crash.  
  
The table was quiet.  
  
That's why he's afraid of heights. Max added minutes later.  
  
Among other things. That's why this whole paralysis thing is so hard. He survived all of that and then this was just one more blow that he didn't deserve.  
  
When did they die?  
  
A month before the pulse. I smiled at Max, who I could see was going through the sequences in her mind. You know what all. I have loved chatting with you and I would love to stay, but Pops will get worried. So I am going to jet.  
  
  
  
  
  
Can I come with you? I mean he paged me.  
  
Sure, but what about your bike.  
  
Kendra can you take it home?  
  
  
  
Okay, then let's be off. It was nice meeting you all. I am sure that I will see you again.  
  
Max and I didn't talk the rest of the way back to Logan's place. As we parked the car, I decided that the silence was a little too annoying and so I broke it.  
  
You should have known Logan before the accident.  
  
Was he much different?  
  
He wasn't very different, just his vibe was different. He was more confident, more hopeful and a lot more fun. Like the old Logan wouldn't have thought twice about coming out with me tonight. But now he prefers to stay in that apartment. And while I understand that there are a lot of practical reasons for him to stay, I think that it has more to do with...  
  
  
  
Yeah, pride.  
  
You know that he can stand, right?  
  
Yeah, he showed me that trick today.  
  
Did he have that goofy grin on his face?  
  
Kind of.  
  
He was so happy and proud of himself. I don't think I ever seen him be so happy.  
  
Question for you?  
  
  
  
So why aren't you hooking up with my boy yet?  
  
  
  
Come on, we both know you like him. So why haven't you made a move? I ask as we enter the elevator and I slide the key to the penthouse through the slot.   
  
  
  
Okay, so since you are uncomfortable with talking about it. I will give you the upfront and honest advice. He likes you ... a lot. Before, you would have already succumbed. But now, he is passive and you have got to take the lead if you want it to go anywhere. And take it from one girl, who like you has bounced from one place to another -- you need roots and the best roots are a man's. No matter how tough you are or think you are, there is nothing safer than running to the arms of a big broad shoulders that envelop you. So there you can go, upfront and honest.  
  
Very upfront and honest. Max laughed as we walked into the apartment. Her face was all red.  
  
Took you long enough. Logan yelled from his office.  
  
Are you waiting up? I yelled back.  
  
  
  
Max followed me around. I poked my head in the office door. I'm tired and going to bed. Besides you have a visitor. I then turned and whispered to Max   
  
.....( I am changing persons because, well you know...).....  
  
Hey. You paged. Max slinked in.  
  
Yeah and you didn't answer. Logan was obviously a little miffed.  
  
Sorry, a little misunderstanding. But I'm good now.  
  
Anna, clear everything up?  
  
Yeah. I like her. Logan smiled at that statement.  
  
Good. I thought you would.  
  
So why did you page me? Max asked as she sat in front of him on his desk.  
  
I thought you might like dinner.  
  
See, you were going to have me interrupt my night for that. Have you ever thought of just asking?  
  
Than you wouldn't have come.  
  
Damn straight. So I'm here, what's up? Max smiled at him.   
  
Nothing much. So did you two have a good talk?  
  
  
  
Um, what did you talk about? Logan was slightly embarrassed about asking this, but his curiosity was getting the better of him.  
  
Max answered straight.  
  
Why does that seem to be a pattern with her?  
  
Talking about you.  
  
  
  
Because, she cares about you. Logan just smiled at this statement. Logan can I ask a personal question or rather can I ask a personal favor of you?  
  
Logan wasn't quite sure if he liked where she was going with this.  
  
Can I see a picture of your mother? Max bite her lip as she asked this.  
  
Logan closed his eyes for a moment.  
  
Never mind... I mean if you ... you don't have to ... it was too personal ... sorry. Max was kicking herself. She knew it was too personal, she knew he would clam up.  
  
Don't be sorry, Max. Logan waited a moment then gave her his answer. Its not you, its me. I don't like to talk about it much. I mean, its hard for me. I only really talked to Anna about it. But even then. Wait here. Logan rolled off and came back with an album. Let's sit on the couch. Max followed.....


	6. Chapter 6

FAMILY (1/?)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters 'cept Logan's family... so ask me if you want to use them in a story. The rest of the characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee and the writers at FOX  
  
Please feel free to leave reviews. I would love to read your thoughts.  
  
**************************************************************  
Previously:  
  
_Max and I didn't talk the rest of the way back to Logan's place. As we parked the car, I decided that the silence was a little too annoying and so I broke it.  
  
You should have known Logan before the accident.  
  
Was he much different?  
  
He wasn't very different, just his vibe was different. He was more confident, more hopeful and a lot more fun. Like the old Logan wouldn't have thought twice about coming out with me tonight. But now he prefers to stay in that apartment. And while I understand that there are a lot of practical reasons for him to stay, I think that it has more to do with...  
  
  
  
Yeah, pride.  
_  
------------  
_  
Hey. You paged. Max slinked in.  
  
Yeah and you didn't answer. Logan was obviously a little miffed.  
  
Sorry, a little misunderstanding. But I'm good now.  
  
Anna, clear everything up?  
_  
_Damn straight. So I'm here, what's up? Max smiled at him.   
  
Nothing much. So did you two have a good talk?_  
_  
  
  
Um, what did you talk about? Logan was slightly embarrassed about asking this, but his curiosity was getting the better of him.  
  
Max answered straight.  
  
Why does that seem to be a pattern with her?  
  
Talking about you.  
  
  
  
Because, she cares about you. Logan just smiled at this statement. Logan can I ask a personal question or rather can I ask a personal favor of you?_  
_  
Logan wasn't quite sure if he liked where she was going with this.  
  
Can I see a picture of your mother? Max bite her lip as she asked this.  
  
Logan closed his eyes for a moment.  
  
Never mind... I mean if you ... you don't have to ... it was too personal ... sorry. Max was kicking herself. She knew it was too personal, she knew he would clam up.  
  
Don't be sorry, Max. Logan waited a moment then gave her his answer. Its not you, its me. I don't like to talk about it much. I mean, its hard for me. I only really talked to Anna about it. But even then. Wait here. Logan rolled off and came back with an album. Let's sit on the couch. Max followed.....  
  
- Now on with the show -_  
  
"After the accident, I had all of their belongings given away to charities. I didn't want any reminders of them. Luckily, my aunt stepped in and sorted out some things to keep. My mother used to keep all of our family photos or momentos in a box. "One day," she would say, "I am going to sit down and put all of this in albums." She even bought the albums, but she never had the time or the patience. They were kept in storage for awhile. When I was getting married, Anna went back home with me to sort out some lose ends about the house. She found the box in the attic and insisted that we take it with us. She then made me sit down and tell her about almost every picture in it. She's a little obsessive. Anyway, as a wedding present she gave me this album." And with that Logan handed the album to Max, for her to look at.  
  
He sat and watched as she tenuously opened the book. A letter falls out.  
  
Shakespeare's Sonnet XXX  
  
When to the sessions of sweet silent thought  
I summon up remembrance of things past,  
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,  
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste.  
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,  
For precious friends hide in death's dateless night,  
And weep afresh love's long since canceled woe,  
An moan th' expense of many a vanished sight.  
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,  
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er  
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,  
Which I new pay as if not paid before.  
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,  
All losses are restored, and sorrows end.  
  
Logan,  
Through your memories they live on, do not allow yourself to forget them.  
All my love,  
Anna  
  
After reading the letter, Max turned to the first page and the first photo. It was a wedding picture of whom she assumed were his parents.  
  
"Your Mom and Dad?" Max asked.  
  
"Yeah. She was 23 and he was 26 when they married. They met in college, he was a grad student. According to my mom, they feel instantly in love the first moment they met." Logan smiled a little.  
  
"She was pretty, she looks like you. Same eyes." Max turned the page and saw a baby picture. "You?"  
  
"Yeah." Logan smiled again, but this time he smiled because of Max's expression.   
  
"Cute kid." The next couple of pages were filled with Logan's baby pictures and like all embarrassing baby pictures there was that one naked one.  
  
"I think Anna put that in to embarrass me."   
  
"Did it work?" Max cocked her eyebrow and turned to look at him. They were both sitting so close now, she could feel his weight as he leaned on her to look over her shoulder at the pictures.  
  
"With you looking at them, yeah it worked." Logan laughed. Suddenly, he too realized their closeness.  
  
"And who is this?" Max had turned the page to a picture of a six-year old Logan sitting on a couch holding a little baby. He had the biggest smile on his face.  
  
"That's Hannah, my baby sister. I was excited when they brought her home. I wanted to be a big brother so badly and then suddenly I was." Max continued to flip through the pages as Logan talked. "That was when we went to Hawaii for the summer. Hannah had just seen JAWS and was terrified of the ocean. I had to drag her out, but the second she was out in it, she feel in love. That whole summer, we lived at the beach. I remember my mother yelling from the house steps at us to come in for dinner. Hannah's face was always red and we both were covered in sand that every time we took a shower that year, sand would always show up in the drain."   
  
"And what was this?" A picture of a teenaged Logan dressed in a tux with a girl on his arm. He looked geeky and awkward, but cute.   
  
"That was senior prom."  
  
"What?" Max had no idea what he was talking about.  
  
"Prom was a tradition in high school. Your last year, there was a formal dance that everyone went to. It was a big deal then."  
  
"And who was she?"  
  
"Rebecca O'Neil. We dated for a year and half, broke up right before college. And that was graduation." Logan noted as Max turned to another picture.  
  
"You were cute." Max smiled as she said this.  
  
"No I wasn't. I was geeky and awkward. I always felt out of place in high school. Sure I could fake it and get along with everyone, but it wasn't real. It wasn't until college that I really felt like I could do something."  
  
"Who is this?" Max asked about another picture that showed Logan and another guy.  
  
"That is Sol, Anna's husband. He was my first and only roommate at Yale and we were best friends ever since. College was great Max, I wish you could have that experience."  
  
"What was so great about it?" Max asked curiously. She noted that this was the first conversation that she had had with him in a long while that they weren't snippy at each other or throwing around sarcasm. Max also noted that Logan's arm was around her.  
  
"All these people living together with only one purpose and that is to learn. We had these amazing conversations about life, death, Plato and thermodynamics. Nothing was too serious to talk about. You spent all day for four years learning about anything you wanted to."  
  
Max turned to a picture that was taken at his college graduation. she turned to look at Logan. His face was more serious. "Do you want me to stop?"  
  
Logan smiled at her for a moment and then sighed and said, "Anna told you."  
  
"Um-huh." Max mumbled. Their faces were so close that she could feel that sadness dripping from them.  
  
"I remember feeling the plane jerk and thinking we just hit an air current or something. Then there was that falling feeling. My mom and dad were upfront and I could here him wrestling with the machines. Then there was his mayday call. I looked over at Hannah and she was frightened. I held her hand and we jerked again and then we hit land. Her face..." Logan started choking up with tears as he continued to talk. "... there was so much blood, but she was still awake. She was so scared and I tried to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but I knew... The next thing I know I am in a hospital and everyone is telling me how lucky I am. Max, I had just lost my entire family and they were calling me lucky." Logan started crying. Max closed the book and turned back around to face Logan. She put her arms around him and held him while he cried on his shoulder.   
  
She kissed his head and whispered "I'm sorry."   
  
Logan stopped for a moment and looked up at Max. Their faces were almost touching he could feel her breath. They stared at each other for minutes. Logan broke the stare, turned his head and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm not used to talking about it. Guess I still get kinda of emotional about it."   
  
Logan started to get up, but Max grabbed his hand before he could move very far. "Logan, remember when I said that you didn't have to hide from me. I meant about things like this to." Max squeezed his hand. "You know all my vulnerabilities. You know everything about my past and I don't know anything about yours. I mean would you have ever told me?"  
  
"Max, it's not you. It's just there are things that are better left in the past." Logan desperately wanted her to understand.  
  
"But they are yours and I want to know about them." Max didn't know if she really wanted to go there, but she was going to brave it anyway.  
  
"Why? They don't matter anymore."  
  
"Yes they do. You had parents who loved you and a sister who apparently adored you and I didn't know anything about them. They are your family and I want to know about them. I want to know about how your mother would tuck you in at night or how your dad would throw baseballs with you in the front yard..."  
  
"...we played basketball." Logan smiled.  
  
"See, I want to know that. Logan, I want to know all about you, where you came from what your parents were like, what kind of food you like, what's your favorite song? I want to hear these things from you, not from some stranger who feels like she should fill me in. You asked me once to trust you and I always have. There has been nothing that I haven't told you..."  
  
"Max..." Logan knew where this was going and he was trying to stop it before it went any further.  
  
"No. Logan just listen to me. I trust you and I want you to trust me. I know that you have been hurt in the past and I know that you want to put up some kind of a brave front for me because of some antiquated notion of chauvinism. But you don't need to hide from me. You really don't. And I don't know how many times I need to drill it in your head. You can show me your pain, as corny as that sounds. You don't always have to be the strong one."  
  
"Max, it's not that..."  
  
"It is that. You are too proud to let me see your weaknesses, but for us to actually have any kind of relationship besides personal you have to let me in."  
  
"I do trust you Max. I really do. It's just hard for me to open up like that, you know." Logan looked into Max's eyes and he could see the stubbornness course through her veins. "Okay, how about this, I will try to be more open with you. That's all I can promise."  
  
"Will you answer any questions I have?"  
  
"Maybe." Max laughed.  
  
"Has anyone told you that you are stubborn?"  
  
"Not today."  
  
"Okay, I guess then if that's all I can get out of you than it will have to do." She smiled back at him and then opened the album up to where she left off. The next picture was one of Anna and Logan. "I swear Anna looks s familiar. If I didn't know better, I would swear that we had met before."  
  
Logan smiled at her, "She get's that a lot."  
  
Max was almost done with the album. The last couple of pages were all of Anna, Logan and Sol. On the last page was his wedding picture. Max fingers traced the picture. They both looked so happy. "Can I ask you a question? Anna said something tonight about how I should have known you before the accident, why do you think she meant?"  
  
"Anna has a theory that I was different before. She seems to think that I am much more subdued now." LOgan answered as he took the album out of Max's lap and placed in on the coffee table.  
  
"Do you think you are?" Did she actually want to go down this path, Max thought as she asked this question. He made her so confused when she was with him. Maybe she did want to go down this line of questioning, maybe she want the answers. Maybe she wanted to know from him what they were.  
  
"I think I am a little, but it goes with the territory." Logan wasn't quite sure where she was going.  
  
Max looked at him for a moment. Internally she was having a fight with herself trying to figure out whether she wanted this or not. She closed her eyes and held her breath. 'Jump' she thought, 'just jump!' So she jumped, "Do you think that that chair makes you any less attractive?" She opened her eyes and held her breath waiting for his answer.  
  
"Max." His voice let her know that he really didn't want to go there, but her eyes told him that she did. So he gave in ... "Are you asking whether I feel like less of man? Than yes, I do, honestly."  
  
"WHy?" Max's question was innocent. "Because you can't walk?" Logan didn't answer her he simply looked at her trying to read what she was thinking about in her head. "You aren't, you know. Your ability to walk doesn't make you a man and you shouldn't feel some damn sense of pride to let me in. You are the most attractive man that I have ever met." Max smiled and let her fingers trace his face, they stopped at his lips. "And I don't come here almost every night because I want favors from you or I want a meal. I come here because of you." 'Okay I jumped, now let's get out of the water.' "And on that note, it is late and I should be getting home."  
  
"You don't have to." Logan whispered, her fingers were still on his mouth.  
  
"Yes, I do. Because I have to get up for work tomorrow morning and Kendra always gets worried about me when I take these all-nighters." Max bit at her lower lip. She didn't want to move. "So good-night Mr. Cale." Max got up and moved her hand to come his chin. She then placed a soft good-night kiss on his lips. This was going to be slow, it has to be because this is not one relationship that I want to lose. Before Logan could react, she turned around and walked out the door.   
  
Logan sat there a moment in shock. 'What just happened here?' he thought. He continued to stare at the empty space where Max had been, until a loud crash woke him up. "Anna!" he yelled and quickly got himself into his chair. The crash came from the bathroom. When he got there, he found Anna on the floor shaking, with glass shattered all around her on the floor. Logan quickly found her bottle of tryptophan that she had been trying to get to and got down on the floor with her and forced the pills into her mouth. He then sat there, holding her like a baby waiting for the pills to take effect. He looked at his watch to time this one. Sol had told him that her seizures had gotten worse and that they were lasting longer. "Clocked the last one at 32 minutes and 43 seconds." He had said.   
  
Finally, Anna stopped shivering and started crying. She hated this, she hated being weak. Logan looked at his watch and was amazed to see that 42 minutes had gone by. He held her and started crying too. This was so painful for her and he knew it. He knew that every time she had one of these, she remembered Jondy. She knew what they meant, at least Max wasn't quite aware of how bad the seizures could actually get. And Max's were nothing compared to the one that Anna had just gone through. Logan pulled her tighter to him and rocked her, whispering repeatedly in a sort of mantra "Shh, everything is going to be fine." But he knew what she knew, he knew that everything wasn't. He knew that one day would come and he would get the call from Sol saying that everything wasn't fine. He knew that one day he was going to lose her too.


	7. Chapter 7

FAMILY (7)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters 'cept Logan's family... so ask me if you want to use them in a story. The rest of the characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee and the writers at FOX  
  
Please feel free to leave reviews. I would love to read your thoughts.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
I woke up the next morning lying on the bathroom floor with Logan's arms wrapped around me. I saw the broken glass on the floor and realized what must have happened. Quietly, I unwrapped myself and started picking up the glass. The loss of warmth must have woken Logan up, he must have been watching me for awhile before I noticed.  
  
"Morning." He whispered gruffly  
  
"Hey." I said trying to not to look at him.   
  
"How you feeling?" He asks as he pulls himself up to a more comfortable position.  
  
"Good. Sorry about last night."   
  
"No need. So you did you have a good time with Max?"   
  
God, I love Logan, I thought. He is the only person in the world who would know not to harbor on my seizures, who would know that I hate talking about them and don't want to. "Yeah. I really like her. I am glad that you two found each other. Ironic isn't it?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"That you are the savior to two manticore children."  
  
"I'm not your savior."  
  
I turn to look at him as he says this. I try to figure out if he honestly thinks that he is not my savior or if he is just being modest. He is the thing that made me human, he is what destroyed the soldier part of me that Lydecker tried to ingrain in my being. But Logan was the savior who helped in my resurrection. He was helping Max too, whether he will admit it or not, she needs him. So instead of dealing with this I decide to move on with the morning. "So what is the plan for the day?"  
  
"Well I thought that maybe we could after lunch, take a walk around the city."  
  
"What are we doing before lunch?"  
  
"I have a doctor's appointment that I need to go to and I thought that maybe you could come with me."  
  
"Okay and then you take me out to eat for lunch?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan." He smiled. But then awkwardly looked around for his wheelchair. Probably trying to figure out how to gracefully get into it. So I being the intuitive person that I am roll the chair next to him and lock the breaks. Logan Cale hates to look weak. So as he gets into his chair, I go make the coffee.   
  
*****************************************************************************  
  
The doctor's appointment led to nothing new. Basically they were all still baffled by his brief stint of walking and the consistency of his feeling. They said it was almost as if his spin was slowly regenerating. The pluropotents in the beginning rejuvenated and replenished his spinal injury allowing him to walk again miraculously for a little while, before they started to settle down and actually get to work on regenerating the cells. A kind of adrenaline rush of the body, you might say.   
  
So now they are all desperately trying to figure out how to harness those cells and help them to regenerate accurately. But the problem for Logan is that it is going to take time for the cells to reform and we all know that Logan has the patience of a pea. So of course this whole appointment was about trying to help the process speed up. I already offered to donate some more blood, maybe there was something in mine that would help or alter this whole process. But Logan had refused, he said that he wanted every part of my body to be intact for the next pregnancy, as if blood doesn't regenerate. But I think he was just trying to tell me gently that he didn't want one more thing for him to feel guilty about if anything went wrong. Logan was worried about me whether he will admit or not. I think the seizure last night really scared him.   
  
So we talk a little at lunch about it, but he manages to keep everything shallow. There is one thing that I have learned about him through the years, if he doesn't want to talk about it he won't. So most of the conversation revolved around the new government that was taking office and his personal beliefs about their legality. After lunch, we walk by Max's work. I know it's Max's because I did some snooping and found out that she worked at bike messenger place called "Jam Pony." Anyway...  
  
"Max works here, right?" I ask.  
  
"Yeah." Logan answered suspiciously. He knew I was up to something.  
  
"So, why don't we go in and see if she is around?" I say as I walk into the building leaving Logan no choice but to follow. I go up to the front desk and am about to ask the head guy,  
  
"Hey Anna, you looking for Max?" Cindy asks as she slams her locker closed.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"She should be back anytime. Hey Logan, how you doing?" Cindy smiled.  
  
"Good and you?" Logan answered smiling back. I swear that was a look of relief on his face.  
  
"Good."  
  
"Anna you should swing by Crash tonight and tell us some more about the boy here."  
  
"Sounds like a plan." I smile and Logan gives me an evil eye. He is about to lay into me, when Max comes barreling in.  
  
"So the creep in 407 Lake says that he ain't taking no packages for Mr. Jones who also resides at the residence. The guy told me to come back later and since the package requires a signature. I figure not my problem." She says as she hands the package back to the head guy. Completely oblivious to the fact that we are there. When she finally turns she notices the three of us starring at her.  
  
"What?" She whines.  
  
"Nothing." Cindy laughs and shakes her head.  
  
"What are you two doing here?" Max asks.  
  
"We came to drop by and see if you want a coffee or something?" I ask.  
  
"Max can't she has a run." The head guys barks.  
  
"Can't. Sorry, rain check."  
  
"Sure, how about Crash tonight?" I know that this is going to annoy Logan, but I'm the guest and I want to go to Crash.   
  
"Sounds good. Logan you in."  
  
"Sorry ladies but I have work to do." Logan cops out again. So apparently that talk that the two of them had didn't seem to get through very far to his thick skull.   
  
"What work?" I ask and as if on cue his phone rings and Logan does a frantic search to find it. I step about five feet away and motion for Max to follow. I then pull the phone out of my boots and answer it. "Hello. Who? No I'm sorry you must have the wrong number." I then hang up. Max gives me an eye, she knows that I am about to get killed.   
  
Logan has a look of pure murder in his eyes. "Give me the phone." He commands.  
  
"They'll call back." I sweetly say.  
  
"The phone." He yells louder.  
  
"Not until you agree to come with me and Max to the Crash tonight?"  
  
"And Zach." Max added.   
  
I looked at her curiously and then back at Logan. "So are you going to join the merry little gang, Loggie?" I pouted knowing that he would agree if only to find out why Zach was still around and I have to admit I was a bit curious also.  
  
"Deal. Now give me my phone." Logan gave in.  
  
"No, not until I am sure that you are actually coming with us."   
  
"I promise that I will come tonight. Phone, please." Logan was now becoming annoyed with me.   
  
"Do we trust him Max?" I turned to Max. "Excuse us for a moment." We then moved farther away from Logan and turned our backs. "He is getting pissed."  
  
"You could say that." She laughed quietly.   
  
"Should we give it back to him?"  
  
"Probably or else he may go into some kind of shock from the detachment. " We both laughed at that and quickly turned are heads to look at Logan who was now starting to get very annoyed.  
  
"Okay, so you come with us tonight and no excuses?" I yell back at him.  
  
"No excuses."  
  
"Then, I guess Max and I can trust that you will keep your word. So here is your phone." I tossed him back the phone, which he caught. "But in case you don't, just remember we know where you live."  
  
"Threat noted." Logan answered a bit irritated.  
  
"Okay, so 9:00 the Crash. And we will now let you get back to work." I smile as Logan rolls out. "I think he's mad."  
  
"I think your right." Max smiled.  
  
"So I guess I should follow him and suck up."  
  
"Probably."  
  
"Why do guys have such sensitive egos?"  
  
"Go." Max laughed at my last statement and I waved as I ran out of the building. Logan was waiting at the corner for me.  
  
"I don't like you two double teaming me." He fumed.  
  
"Are you really angry?" I sincerely doubted that he could actually be that angry at me for teasing him.  
  
"I just don't like you two coming at me."  
  
"Okay. Your feelings are noted and it won't happen again. I will always side with you and I will make sure that from now on Max and I are on opposite sides of every issue." I wanted to make sure that he understood how retarded he was really sounding.  
  
"Good."  
  
"Good." We walked back to his apartment in silence. He really was mad at me. As soon as we got back to his place he went into his office and I went to the kitchen. Bling was putting away some groceries that he had just bought.   
  
"You guys have a good time?" Bling asked.  
  
"It was fine, but he was moody."  
  
"That's new." He teased. "So what did the doctor say?"  
  
"That it is going to take time."  
  
"Agh."   
  
"Which probably has a lot to do with his moodiness. That and the fact that Max and I ganged up on him today." I add.  
  
"Maybe it was that." Bling adds with a smile. He too knows Logan a little too well.   
  
"I should probably go talk to him." I say as I grab an apple and head towards Logan's office. I hear him typing away at his computer.  
  
"So I wonder why Zach is still around?"  
  
"I don't know." He answers while he stares at his monitor. I hate it when he talks to me like that.  
  
"Yes, you do. When I came what were they arguing about?"  
  
"Lydecker found Tinga and brought her back. Zach thinks that he is getting closer to all of them. He also had some other run ins with somebody else hunting him, except these people were shoot to kill. He wants Max to leave, again. My guess is he is staying so that he can convince her."  
  
"What do you mean shoot to kill?" Zach doesn't like to hang around, I know that and Logan knows that, so whatever his reasons they must be good.  
  
"I mean it looks like they have gotten tired of Lydecker not being able to capture you all and decided that you are too high of a liability alive."  
  
"Wouldn't want our genetic make-up getting in the wrong hands."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"What if this is all trap? You told me that Zach had been brought back in and then escaped. How do we know that he isn't setting Max up?"  
  
"Max doesn't think so and believe me I have had the argument with her."  
  
"Zach doesn't have to know that it's a trap for their to be one. All Lydecker has to do is get close enough to us all and watch us jump."  
  
"You think he knows about everyone and is just waiting for them to make their next move?"  
  
"Might be. You said that Zach had a contact number that everyone could reach him on, except Max, right? So all Lydecker needs to get is that number and he is set."  
  
"How could he get that number?"  
  
"Simple, he knows Zach. Everything that Zach knows Lydecker taught him. All Lydecker needs to do is get into Zach's head and find the numbers."  
  
"Simple." Logan laughs.  
  
"No seriously, it's simple. We all remember things in certain ways and the codes that we choose are based on those memories. Okay here is an example, make up a phone number. Now write it down." Logan turned his back and wrote the numbers. "Okay there is probably a 28 in there, a 212, then a 76, a 4 and a 23. So it's probably a New York number, 212-428-2376. How close?"  
  
Logan looked up at me amazed. "Fairly close, except there was no 4."  
  
"A 9 then?"  
  
"Yeah. Okay go through that with me."  
  
"212 - New York City's area code farthest major city in the US from here. 28 because that's how many years your parents would be married for. 76 because 1776 was when the Declaration was signed. 23 because that is my birthday. And 4 because there are four members in your family."  
  
"That's good, but where did the nine come from?"  
  
"Agh, you've none Max for nine months."  
  
"Wait so you are saying that even when we pick random numbers, subconsciously there is a pattern and all Lydecker has to do is figure out the pattern."  
  
"Exactly and he had the perfect opportunity to do it when he had Zach. Specifically because Zach was overly cautious about giving anything up. He wouldn't have been thinking too worry about his thought patterns."  
  
"So you think this is a trap?"  
  
"Maybe or maybe this is all crap and Zach simply wants Max to get out of Seattle. Which is the primary reason that I don't want them to know about me. The more people who know, the greater the chance I will get caught. The reason Max had been doing so well for such a long time was because nobody knew. The second she wanted to find us, then the red flag went up waiving "I'm here." Nobody knows anything about me because nobody else knows but me and I'm not looking. Got it."  
  
"But I know and Sol knows."  
  
"But they aren't looking for two normal guys. They are looking for 19 something freaks who have these amazing abilities like being able to beat up three guys at once."  
  
"So you're saying by Max wanting to find you all, she got them looking for her."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Interesting."  
  
"So... are you still mad at me?"  
  
"No." He answered simply.  
  
"Are you upset about the doctor's visit?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Liar." I tease him. I know that he is upset, he doesn't need to say it because it's written all over his face.  
  
"No I am not mad about the appointment. Just disappointed."  
  
"I know. Life sucks." I laugh trying to lighten his mood. "So what should we have for dinner tonight?"  
  
"You know that there is one thing I can be sure of when you are around."  
  
"And what is that..."  
  
"I never get bored and you never let me wallow in my own self pity."  
  
"Good, because self-pity isn't very sexy on you."  
  
"Its not?"   
  
"No." I answer semi growling the answer to him. "Besides you have to find a way to make sure that Max does not leave."  
  
"Do I?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?" Logan knows the answer he just doesn't want to admit it,  
  
"Because you don't want her to."  
  
"True."  
  
"Because you love her."  
  
"What is up with everyone? Why does everyone think that?"  
  
"Because, dear boy, it is completely and underlie the truth. However you may deny it, anyone who sees you together, knows that you are completely in love with her and she is with you. Why else hasn't she left yet?"  
  
"Because of her friends."  
  
"And..."  
  
"And..."  
  
"You. She hasn't left because of you. Don't try to deny it, you know its the truth. So now let's get something to eat."   
  
"Okay."  
  
"So tonight, no flirting, deal."  
  
"No flirting with you." Logan whines.  
  
"Yes, you can not flirt with me tonight. The only woman you flirt with is Max."  
  
"You're no fun."  
  
I stuck my tongue out at him. Tonight, I wanted them to have a good time together. If Max was thinking about leaving, I wanted Logan to remind her exactly why she can't leave. Trusting our jumping instincts is not what is going to keep us safe. The idea is to hide and do nothing that would focus anyone's attention. But it did worry me about this new technique of hunting rather than trapping. The one thing, none of us are strong enough to defend is a bullet in the right place. It is easy to avoid capture, but it is more difficult to avoid a moving bullet. And to tell the truth I am not to thrilled that Zach is still around. From all that Logan has told me about him, he may have more personal reasons than just survival. Which kind of grosses me out, but at the same time does make some kind of warped sense. I mean Zach is a soldier and what other kind of woman is going to understand that kind of personality better than a Manticore female. Plus if Zach fell hard for someone he would have a hard time fighting his need to protect them, and protecting one of us is a little easier than protecting an ordinary female.  
  



	8. Chapter 8

FAMILY (8)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters 'cept Logan's family... so ask me if you want to use them in a story. The rest of the characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee and the writers at FOX  
  
Please feel free to leave reviews. I would love to read your thoughts.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
After dinner, we headed out to the Crash. Max, Zach and her friends were already there.  
  
"Hey y'all." I smile at Max.  
  
"Well look who finally showed up." Max teased.  
  
"Hey girl." Cindy greeted me. It's weird but I really like Max's friends and they seem to like me, another oddity. But I guess it is a good way for them to get the goods on Logan.  
  
"Do you want to get a beer?" Max asked me, but didn't quite wait for me to respond before asking Logan, "What do you want?"  
  
"I can get it."   
  
"No, my treat. What do you want?"   
  
"A beer is fine."  
  
"Okay." Max started to walk to the bar, but then realized that I was not following and proceeded to drag me with her. I looked back at Logan with a jokingly helpless look.  
  
"I guess we're going to the bar." I call out. Cindy laughs and I find out why as soon as we get to the bar.  
  
"I thought you weren't coming." Max had obviously been waiting for us.  
  
"We were five minutes late, chill."  
  
"I know but I thought that he might still be mad."  
  
"No, I took care of that. Besides it was more moody than mad. He had a doctor's appointment today and he was all bummed out because of that."  
  
"He had a doctor's appointment?" Max almost sounded hurt when she asked this.  
  
"It was no big deal." I tried to say it my most soothing voice.  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
"They still are baffled about his brief ability to walk and about how he is able to make as much progress as he has so far. But the moodiness came in when they told him that he needed to be patient and allow his body to recover at its own speed."  
  
"And he wants to go fast."  
  
"Exactly." The bartender gave us our beers but instead of going back we stood at the bar for awhile. "So Logan told me that you are thinking of leaving?"  
  
"He told you."  
  
"Yeah." I knew that she was going to be annoyed by this comment and the fact that I even knew anything about it in the first place, but I have never been one to shy away from conflict.  
  
"I've been thinking about it."  
  
"Why?" I wasn't expecting a straight answer, but simply wanted to watch her eyes as she made up an excuse.  
  
"There are some complications, which make it hard for me to stay here. I really don't want to leave."  
  
"Then don't."  
  
"It's a long story."  
  
"Maybe you can tell it to me sometime." Yeah, that was a definite I really don't want to leave but I think that maybe I should, but I don't want to. Which means that if I can convince her not to or better yet if Logan can convince her not too, than it will make it easier for her to say no to Zach.  
  
"Maybe." She smiled and we headed back to the table.   
  
Logan looked a bit helpless without us there. We both sat next to him and Cindy sat next to me and Zach next to Max. All in all, it was a nice evening. Cindy and Max made me tell them some stories about Logan and I forced some Max stories out of them. But the evening was broken up slightly, when three fairly large guys came up to the table and asked for me.  
  
"Your Sol Vargas's wife, right?" One of the men asked in a very shady way.  
  
"Yeah and..." I answer with a bit more attitude than I should of, but they interrupted and that is rude.  
  
"Your husband cost us a lot of money." The same goon said.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"He broke up a drug deal and made me look bad in front of my clients. I don't like to look bad in front of clients, its bad for business."  
  
I get up knowing where this going. I can feel everyone tense up at the table. I quickly glance at Logan who is glaring at the men. Max and Zach both look like they might just pounce at any second. "Look, we were having drinks here and I don't like being interrupted." God, I love when I sound all tough, mentally I giggle. "So obviously you have something with my husband and not me."  
  
"But your here."  
  
"Okay, is that how you are going to play it? Then why don't we take this outside." The thing that only the people behind me know is that I have pulled out my gun from pant leg when I had stood up.  
  
"I don't think so." The guy answered smugly looking back at his other companions.   
  
I take this opportunity to pull the gun out and point it directly at his crouch. Close enough that only he and I know about the gun. "You didn't hear me, I don't like to be interrupted. If my husband cost you money, then I am sure that money was dirty and you should have lost it. So why don't you and your friends make a quiet exit and I will forget that this ever happened." The guy gives me an 'I don't believe you could pull that trigger, little lady' look and I add. "See my friend over there. He's in that chair because of a gun, but you want the difference between you and him. His shooter was a bad shot and he's still alive. I, however, am an excellent shot and if I pull this trigger you won't be so lucky. But then again I could always leave you a vegetable, which also has it's positive aspects." I smile sweetly at this bastard, who now is looking terrified. "So I am going to offer you one more time to quietly exit this bar before I decide how good of a shot I feel like being tonight." I smile and pull the gun slightly away and the three run out of the bar. I hear a loud sigh from everyone at the table. I quickly hide my gun again and sit down.   
  
There is silence for a moment, until Logan breaks it. "Did you forget to load the gun?" He asks half mockingly.  
  
I put on my best valley girl accent and reply, "God I knew there something I forgot to do today, load my gun." With that everyone cracks up and I get a lot of 'Damn girl,' but the interesting response was from Zach who just nodded approvingly. I wonder if it just clicked in his brain about who I was. I notice that Max is looking at me differently also. I wonder if those guys just blew my cover. But time passes and everyone seems to forget that little moment of drama.  
  
Max, Logan, Zach and I all walk out together. It actually has surprised me about how much I actually enjoyed the evening. Give Zach a few beers and he is actually quite tolerable. I smile to myself as I follow them out. The smile breaks when I feel a piece of cold steel against my throat.  
  
"I don't like to be embarrassed." The goon from earlier whispers in my ear.   
  
Zach turns around and sees them. I eye him not to come and he nods. The blade starts to cut my skin and that's when I lose it. I flip him over onto his back. Another guy starts to go for Logan and Max, I lunge at him throwing him into a wall. The third guy comes and I kick him in the face, taking him out for a while. The first guy gets up and comes at me again from behind. I hear Zach yell, "Behind!" and I know what he is talking about. I kick the guy forcing him against the brick wall and then start to bang his head against the bricks. I have now completely lost any trace of humanity that I have, I am a soldier who has been attacked. The guy starts to make a break for it. I stop by grabbing on to his head, I wrap my arms around him for a good grip and then I snap his neck. I watch him fall like a limp doll. The other two guys run and I am not quite sure why, but then I see Zack next to me in fight mode. He watches me for a moment as I stare at the body. I vaguely hear Logan call for me. But I am too much on instinct mode now. I crouch done next to the body and look for his wallet, I pull out all of his money. I then hit him in the chest a couple of times. I see Zach opening up a trash bin, we both then drag the body into the bin and close the top. I hear the sirens in the distance and turn to look at a stunned Max and Logan.   
  
"We got to get out of here." Is all I can say. Nobody says a thing. The whole ride home is silent. I think we are all still in shock over what just happened. Logan has never seen me be aggressive and Max just figured out who I am. Me, I am soaked in that guys blood, as well as a little bit of my own from his blade. I can't believe that I just killed a guy and then methodically went to cover it up. The interesting thing was how I knew exactly what to do, make it look like a robbery. I didn't worry about fingerprints because Manticore made sure that ours were untraceable. There would be no DNA evidence because I didn't let them touch me. The only problem that I had were the two guys who ran away, but I have a feeling that after seeing this girl single handily kill their friend, that they won't be much of a problem.   
  
In the elevator, we all stand in silence. I can feel Logan staring at me, he wants to know if I am all right, but I can't face him. I just brutally and consciously killed a man and Logan watched it all. I feel ashamed and hurt, this was a part of me that I never wanted him to know. The doors open and we all file out. I'm the last one in the door and a wave of nausea comes over me. I then hear a familiar voice coming from deeper inside the apartment.  
  
"Took you guys long enough." I know that voice, where do I know it from. "What happened?" The tone went from excited to extremely concerned and then it hit me, Sol. Sol was coming tonight, I had forgotten all about it. And now he's here, I feel his eyes staring at me. I can't read his emotions through the cloud of my own. He starts to walk towards me and suddenly I know that he is about to hug me. No question about the bruises on my cheek or the blood in my hair or on my shirt, he simply wants to hold me and let me know that I am safe. All I can see is him and I can't hear the fight between everyone that is about to occur. Its like I am underwater, drowning. The closer Sol gets the greater my instinct becomes to run. I walk around his arms and pull out the money from my pocket, handing it to Zach.  
  
"When you run." I simply say and he nods. Then the nausea hits as everyone stares at me. I run into the bathroom and lock the door. I can feel the shakes coming and go from my tryptophine. I see my reflection in the mirror first and it horrifies me. I don't see the normal sweet face that I have gotten used to, instead I see the face that horrifies me in my nightmares. My hair is all messed up and I have a bruise forming on my left cheek. The blood is dried on my neck from where the guy cut me. I have his dried blood all over my shirt. I reach over to the pill bottle, shaking slightly. I notice my hands are covered in blood, I turn on the sink to wash the blood off. But it's not working. Words start entering my head....  
  
Out, damned spot! out, I say!--One: two: why,  
then, 'tis time to don't.--Hell is murky!--Fie, my  
lord, fie! a soldier, and afeard? What need we  
fear who knows it, when none can call our power to  
account?--Yet who would have thought the old man  
to have had so much blood in him.  
The thane of Fife had a wife: where is she now?--  
What, will these hands ne'er be clean?--No more o'  
that, my lord, no more o' that: you mar all with  
this starting.  
Here's the smell of the blood still: all the  
perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little  
hand. Oh, oh, oh!  
Wash your hands, put on your nightgown; look not so  
pale.--I tell you yet again, Banquo's buried; he  
cannot come out on's grave.  
To bed, to bed! there's knocking at the gate:  
come, come, come, come, give me your hand. What's  
done cannot be undone.--To bed, to bed, to bed!  
  
Where is that from? ... Shakespeare, I know. .... MacBeth, it's MacBeth. The queen is going nuts after having the blood of the king on her hands. Why did those words turn up now. I hear a knocking on the bathroom door. I can tell that Sol is leaning against it trying to hear what I am doing. I look at myself in the mirror. "What's done can not be undone." I chant to myself as I scrub at my hands under the burning water and I stare at my reflection. "Fuck!!" I finally scream and with one quick action I bring my fist to the mirror and break it. The sound causes Sol to break through the door. I look up at him with tears in my eyes. He has his protector look on his face. My stomach twists again. He starts to look at my hands which are all cut from the mirror. I jerk away at the touch.  
  
"No." I simply say and walk out. In the living room, both Max and Zach are on opposite sides of the window staring out. Logan is watching in a corner. Everyone turns to look at me.   
  
Zach is the first one to break, "You okay?" He asks.  
  
"Fine." I answer coldly. I am soldier, why wouldn't I be okay. I was made to kill, why is this such a shock to me.  
  
"Anna...." Logan's voice almost brings me to tears, "are you okay?"  
  
"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I growl. "I just killed a man. Isn't that what I am supposed to do?" I stare at him trying to be as cold as I can, but his eyes never allow me to be cold. I feel the shakes start again and everyone starts to lunge towards me. Sol attempts to wrap his arms around me. But I break away with one giant, "Fuck!!" As my body involuntarily shakes, I look up at Max. She is looking at me, like it's the first time she has every seen me. She starts to walk towards me. I back against the wall and start to cower. My body starts shaking more violently and I slide down the wall. Max calmly approaches and sits down next to me. She wraps her arms around, my body goes towards her. She now holds me, soothing my shaking body.   
  
She whispers to Logan, "Get me some...." she doesn't even have to finish. I hear him roll off. Max is wiping my brow, telling me that everything is going to be okay. Why am I letting myself fall apart in her arms? Why am I letting her see the walls that have suddenly come crashing down? I don't even let Logan and Sol see this part of me, why her? The answer is simple and I know it, because she is Max and she knows.


End file.
